Making friends and starting relationships has always been a bit of a difficult task for me. When I was younger I would make friends, but then move on to the next ones quickly, effortlessly and without a second thought.
Part of this I owe to the multiple locations that my family has lived since moving tends to make friendships harder to keep up with and to start in general. Now that I am older, I am about to move on to a new part of life. I will be graduating from college in a few months and I keep feeling that there is no point in creating new relationships since I will be leaving in a short time. Why cause unnecessary heartbreak or waste anyone’s time? I feel this way because I tend to be such a tourist in life. I have always loved meeting new people and having new experiences for the excitement… but once I decided I wanted to know that person on a deeper level, that friendship became too difficult for either me or the other person. I would enjoy learning about the deepest fears or joys a person has, which in the world we live in is scary for most people to acknowledge or feel comfortable doing.
This behavior makes loving others so difficult.
It becomes harder to love that person once you know them on a deeper level…. because you truly know that person. You come to know their quirks and habits, but also what dreams they have or who they find facinating. We as people -even if you aren’t a part of the Millennial generation- are finding these relationships take too much time, energy, and are ultimately not worth the time.
What if we spend months or years getting to know someone and then not like them? Or what if they find they don’t like me for who I am?
All of these are FEAR. Fear of commitment. Fear of intimacy. Fear of rejection. We are beginning to let our relationships be overrun by fear.
But perfect love casts out fear.
If you are familiar with the Bible (even if you aren’t), you have heard 1 Corinthians 13:4-7. One of the most common verse passages spoken at weddings, but one that shows what love is even in platonic friendships. It talks about what love is, and isn’t. The last few words say that “love always perseveres”. Even through the fear, the quirks, the joy. Love is supposed to keep going forever.
This is such a hard message to accept. This means I cannot be a tourist. It means that I must try to dig deep to help the roots of relationships grow. Even if I am in a place for a short amount of time, I need to invest in others and love on them.
Love does not care about the time had, but about the effort put into the relationships.
Give love. And give it deeply. Get to know those around you, even if you are just passing through. I encourage you, no CHALLENGE you to make deeper friendships.