“I just want to see you content”
Seven words. Words that cut me to the core, and yet are loving at the same time. A phrase that says, “hey, I not only care about you, but I want to see you happy where you are and with what you have.”
But that word… Content… it is just so foreign.
I need more. More time. More money. More friends. More sucess. More adventures.
“Content” and “more” don’t go together. A person can’t live with both.
I have been struggling with wanting to go to a new place to live for a while now. With marrying Mr. Yell and seeing most of our friends leave, it has been very hard to stay in our small town. I have been angry, jealous, and hurt; with myself for graduating late, and with God for not taking us to another place. He has been silent for almost a year now; and that has been the hardest thing to experience.
Then just this week my husband said something that woke me up. It made me rethink this past year’s emotions, complications, and stress.
“I just want to see you content.”
That’s it. That was the moment I realized that maybe, God wasn’t silent, at least not at first. Instead of listening to what He wanted me to do, I have been trying to push myself to do things that I feel I need to do. Things that will make me likable, smarter, or bring my life more meaning. I have been trying to make my life “better”, when instead I just needed to learn how to be content.
Contentment is hard, guys. So hard. It is very hard to live in a world that is built on comparing ourselves to others and yet seek contentment. It is hard to see people in your same place in life who seem like they are doing it all, or that they are more likeable or needed or whatever. But can I just say that finding a way to be content is just so much better?
Even if you aren’t a believer in Christ, I challenge you just to take this week and find ways not to want more. I want you to think about the things and people you have, and I want you to think everyday that you have enough. That you are fine where you are, and that the desire for more is not needed. For me, this is made infinitely easier when I remember that my relationship with God is all I need. I can lose everything and still know that He is good. He is enough.
This year has been rough, that is for sure. But this week has been the best week I have had in such a long time just on the basis of seeking contentment. I am learning, like I am sure much of you are, that I am pretty enough, strong enough, smart enough, loved enough, and happy enough.
I am doing my best to help those in need and make the part of the world I am in a brighter place to be. And that thought can only come from being content.
Friends, are you content? If it means anything… I not only think you can be, but I want to see that happen for you.
Much love. Much grace.