Something I have been praying for this year and for this summer.
That I can learn to serve without titles or the need to be recognized. However, one thing I forgot about humility is that in order to be humble, you have to let yourself go. You have to let others help you. Work as a team and not try to be independent of others. This is something I struggle with in a major way. I like to do things by myself. I like to serve others, but don’t know how to let others serve me. I have gotten better at serving, but not at letting others help me when I can’t help myself. I’m a pretty independent person, so receiving and asking for help is very difficult for me to overcome.
So here I am. In Poland, the end of our first week, and I am sick. SO SICK. For a few hours I couldn’t eat, sleep, or even drink water. Helpless and in pain. Me being me, I thought: “okay, no big deal, just a little stomach bug, I’ll just have to wait it out.” But it was painful. And hard. And I felt horrible. Not just because I was sick, but because I knew I was causing inconvenience for my team. I couldn’t go do the things I needed to do. I couldn’t help with anything. One of the girls even had to stay in another place so she won’t get sick. I hate being a burden. And here I was, sick and a burden. But in that time of sickness, I realized I was getting what I asked for. I had asked to be made humble. Here I was getting an answer. I had to be made ill to let others help me. To know that I wasn’t a burden, I can’t help being sick. To let others help me, because I had no other choice. The ladies have been so kind in giving me things I need and praying for me. It has really touched my heart to see how they serve with humility and love. I am so thankful to be put with such amazing people who make me soup, bring me medicine, and pray for me.
The fear of the Lord teaches wisdom, and humility comes before honor.
This has been absolutely true. Humility comes before honor. There is NO honor in being stuck in an apartment while in Europe. While I am here to serve others. While many people paid for me to be here. While many people are looking to what will happen this summer. But that’s humility. Sometimes we need to be broken down in order to be shown how to love, serve, or just rest.
While it has been a rough few days, I have already learned so much. I have learned how to serve others, but also how to let others serve me.
How to be humble.
Much love. Much grace.