“You really should teach elementary school. Those high schoolers will eat you alive!”
“How can you be a feminist and wear polka dots?”
“You need to be more mean. If not, people will just walk all over you.”
Have you heard (or maybe thought) some of these? I know that I hear them on a weekly basis… AT LEAST.
I think when people say these comments they are intended as compliments, or maybe advice. I don’t think these people realize these words are somewhat hurtful. Maybe hurtful isn’t the right word… dampening is better. These comments tend to be a pouring of water on an excited spirit.
Girls, you know the struggle.
People have an urge to pat your head, or give you looks of surprise when you talk about politics or education reform. You have been treated with kid-gloves and feel like you have to constantly prove you are a free-thinking adult. You feel the need to prove to others that you are not a young child or a person who will faint at the mention of topics with substance. And when people say those comments to you, it’s somewhat disheartening.
Ladies, you are not alone.
If you haven’t already noticed, I am a cutesy person. I love flowers, skirts that twirl, and glitter. I follow way too many cat Instagram’s and love decorating things according to seasons and holidays. I love tea and cupcakes; and I get really excited about arts and crafts. My favorite colors are blue, pink, and purple.
But I am also a Feminist. I believe in equality for all people. I have strong opinions about politics, foreign affairs, and economics. I have been through messes and hurts. That is who I am.
There is this stigma that if you like baking cookies and drinking Cotton Candy Frappuccinos, you can’t also be a strong, intelligent, woman.
And it is obviously so wrong.
To all my nice girls out there:
So what?! You love a lot of cutesy things. You are a cutesy person.
That’s who you are.
You are strong.
You are compassionate.
You are intelligent.
Your sensitivity matters and is needed to soften the hard aspects of this world.
Girls, just because you are sweet, kind, and tender does not mean you aren’t full of strength as well. It takes guts to be gentle, kind, and open. There is so much vulnerability involved and that is NOT a weakness. That is a strength. To be sensitive in this rough world takes hard work; because this world can easily make you bitter, angry, and selfish. Sweet ladies, know you aren’t alone. Just because you don’t hear from other sweet ladies does not mean they aren’t there. They are there, making the world a little softer and more understanding… and so are you.
Much love. Much grace.