How Interviewing for Jobs Helped Me Gain Confidence

It’s hard out there, guys. I mean I’ve read articles and studies and a bunch of other stuff about how hard it is to get a job out there in the “real world”, especially for Millennials just graduating from college. (I mean, a graduate needs a four-year degree and five years of experience for an entry level job now… Literally impossible.) It’s pretty brutal. It’s less brutal if you know what you want to do with your life and you have the ability to relocate, but still very tough to beat out people for a job and not just huddle in a corner and cry. #realLife

It’s been nine months since I graduated with my BS degree and for about four months I was actively looking for a job.Β I now have a job that I am really enjoying, but the job search took a bit of a toll on my self-esteem and confidence there for a bit. However, this experience has been enlightening and encouraging in many different ways.

Now, in November of last year I talked about some of the fears I hadΒ and that I was still working on overcoming them. This experience has helped speed along that process in a major way, really getting down to the grit of specific fears I have.

Fear of Judgement

I hate knowing that people are constantly making first impressions of others and the idea of taking tests to determine my knowledge or skill at something makes my stomach hurt. I hate being judged. I hate being put on a number scale to determine my worth, because to me I don’t believe it is an accurate depiction of who I am.

Imperfection

I want to be good at everything; and by that I mean that I want to do everything perfectly. If I am doing something I want every detail to be aligned and displayed in a creative and fun way, and if it isn’t I tend to beat myself up about it.

Not Being Enough

It was hard going into job interviews and not getting a job. Β I had flaws that the future employer could not overcome, so they choose someone else. Mostly those flaws were experience related, but it’s very hard not to take each rejection personally.

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After each rejection, I noticed that my fears began to shrink. After each rejection I would grieve for a moment but then I would try to prepare for the next interview. Then, I started to list out good qualities about my professional self and memorizing them for interviews. I even carried them around on a piece of paper at one point so I could add more when I thought of them. I also started asking others what good qualities they saw in me so that I could add them to the list to tell future employers. This strategy helped me not just get a job, but be confident in my new stage of adulting. The career stage.

So, if you are out there searching and trying and maybe crying a little during a job search, just know you have many qualities to offer. So many, that I bet you could make a long list of them. πŸ˜‰

Much love. Much grace.

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Heartache and HeartbreakΒ 

​The election is over. After a year and a half, America has decided that the best person for POTUS is Trump. 

I cried last night.

I cried this morning.

 I cried when I got home from work. 

 Not just because Trump has said horrible things about Muslims, Mexicans, or women; but because this is the person people wanted to hold the highest title in our country. 

My heart aches. My mind, body, and soul are heavy and burdened. 

People want this. So many people. And not just any people… but my people. People I love.  People who taught me right from wrong. People who told me to be kind, compassionate, and to love others, no matter what. These people have actively chosen a man who defies each of these qualities.

 At a time such as this. .. it feels so hopeless. Our country struggles with hating so many people. How can we heal? Are there any people who actually want to heal? People who desire to love? It feels like there aren’t.  It feels like hope is gone. 

But you know what? It’s not. There ARE people who are kind and loving and who actually follow Christ. There ARE people who once finished grieving,  will get up and fight for what is right. There ARE people who will fight for equal pay and rights for all. I know this because there are so many of you who feel the weight of this decision as I do. You know that hate and fear don’t win in the very end, and that love has already trumped hate. You know that while the world seems so dark and full of spite,  there are some willing to carry on and sweat for progress. 

Today is yours.  Tomorrow will be too. It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to turn off your phone to journal, do yoga, and just shed tears for what has happened. These next few days are yours to work with… to process how this happened and why. Take some time think through it all, and know you aren’t alone. There are many who feel the same.  For now my sweet friends, feel the heartbreak and work through your thoughts; for when you reach the end of grief, our work towards a better future truly begins. 
Much love. Much grace