How Interviewing for Jobs Helped Me Gain Confidence

It’s hard out there, guys. I mean I’ve read articles and studies and a bunch of other stuff about how hard it is to get a job out there in the “real world”, especially for Millennials just graduating from college. (I mean, a graduate needs a four-year degree and five years of experience for an entry level job now… Literally impossible.) It’s pretty brutal. It’s less brutal if you know what you want to do with your life and you have the ability to relocate, but still very tough to beat out people for a job and not just huddle in a corner and cry. #realLife

It’s been nine months since I graduated with my BS degree and for about four months I was actively looking for a job.Β I now have a job that I am really enjoying, but the job search took a bit of a toll on my self-esteem and confidence there for a bit. However, this experience has been enlightening and encouraging in many different ways.

Now, in November of last year I talked about some of the fears I hadΒ and that I was still working on overcoming them. This experience has helped speed along that process in a major way, really getting down to the grit of specific fears I have.

Fear of Judgement

I hate knowing that people are constantly making first impressions of others and the idea of taking tests to determine my knowledge or skill at something makes my stomach hurt. I hate being judged. I hate being put on a number scale to determine my worth, because to me I don’t believe it is an accurate depiction of who I am.

Imperfection

I want to be good at everything; and by that I mean that I want to do everything perfectly. If I am doing something I want every detail to be aligned and displayed in a creative and fun way, and if it isn’t I tend to beat myself up about it.

Not Being Enough

It was hard going into job interviews and not getting a job. Β I had flaws that the future employer could not overcome, so they choose someone else. Mostly those flaws were experience related, but it’s very hard not to take each rejection personally.

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After each rejection, I noticed that my fears began to shrink. After each rejection I would grieve for a moment but then I would try to prepare for the next interview. Then, I started to list out good qualities about my professional self and memorizing them for interviews. I even carried them around on a piece of paper at one point so I could add more when I thought of them. I also started asking others what good qualities they saw in me so that I could add them to the list to tell future employers. This strategy helped me not just get a job, but be confident in my new stage of adulting. The career stage.

So, if you are out there searching and trying and maybe crying a little during a job search, just know you have many qualities to offer. So many, that I bet you could make a long list of them. πŸ˜‰

Much love. Much grace.

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Heartache and HeartbreakΒ 

​The election is over. After a year and a half, America has decided that the best person for POTUS is Trump. 

I cried last night.

I cried this morning.

 I cried when I got home from work. 

 Not just because Trump has said horrible things about Muslims, Mexicans, or women; but because this is the person people wanted to hold the highest title in our country. 

My heart aches. My mind, body, and soul are heavy and burdened. 

People want this. So many people. And not just any people… but my people. People I love.  People who taught me right from wrong. People who told me to be kind, compassionate, and to love others, no matter what. These people have actively chosen a man who defies each of these qualities.

 At a time such as this. .. it feels so hopeless. Our country struggles with hating so many people. How can we heal? Are there any people who actually want to heal? People who desire to love? It feels like there aren’t.  It feels like hope is gone. 

But you know what? It’s not. There ARE people who are kind and loving and who actually follow Christ. There ARE people who once finished grieving,  will get up and fight for what is right. There ARE people who will fight for equal pay and rights for all. I know this because there are so many of you who feel the weight of this decision as I do. You know that hate and fear don’t win in the very end, and that love has already trumped hate. You know that while the world seems so dark and full of spite,  there are some willing to carry on and sweat for progress. 

Today is yours.  Tomorrow will be too. It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to turn off your phone to journal, do yoga, and just shed tears for what has happened. These next few days are yours to work with… to process how this happened and why. Take some time think through it all, and know you aren’t alone. There are many who feel the same.  For now my sweet friends, feel the heartbreak and work through your thoughts; for when you reach the end of grief, our work towards a better future truly begins. 
Much love. Much grace

Even If…

Even if I have problems, You are still good.

Even if I am weary, You are good and you are strong.

Even if I feel like you have forgotten me, You know my thoughts and fears.

Even if (when) I have bad days, You forgive me and remind me there are good days too.

Even if I struggle to have peace, You love me and guide me to a place of tranquility.

Even if I feel useless, You have a purpose for your glory to be shown through my story.

Even if I feel unworthy, You remind me that my worth comes from You, and You alone.

Even if my expectations are not met, You are good.

Even if my life is not what I planned, You are good.

Even if I am scared or anxious, You are good.

Even if everything changes, You stay the same.

Even if anything, You are so so good.

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Much love. Much grace.

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This Is YOUR Summer

I have been particularly struggling with this idea for some timeΒ now, not because I don’t think it needs talking about, but because I wasn’t sure I was qualified to write about it. Body confidence, and confidence in general, is something I have struggled with for a while. For many women, this struggle is a life-long battle in loving herself.

This summer I am going to write about the most difficult topic; self-worth.

Let me preface this by saying I am not a professional by any means. I don’t know five easy steps to loving yourself, I don’t know how to help you lose/gain weight, nor do I have a killer workout to help you with your booty gains. I am just a 23 year old woman who knows the struggles of finding, keeping, and desiring self-love. All I know is what I wish someone would have told me, or what I wish I would have listened to about loving myself.

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Those are the things I am going to work on in myself and try to share during this season. This won’t be every post, but it is a theme that I am wanting to challenge myself during these warmer months.

Much grace. Much love.

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If you have a story or comment or anything you would like to share on this topic, please let me know by contacting me. I would love to hear/share your story in growing or searching for coming to like/love your physical self.

Loving The Skin You’re In

Let me be completely honest, I did not know that photoshopping women’s bodies was even possible until I was 17.

I fully believed that those girls in the magazines were real; their bodies, faces, and clothes. I believed that these women were perfect models, I didn’t know where these magazines found them, but I knew they had to exist for magazines to put them on spreads and in articles.

Ladies:

THIS IS A LIE.

I know now, that magazines, celebrities, and even “normal” people photoshop or reshape their bodies and faces everyday. That these body sizes, lip shapes, and perfect women do not exist.

β€œYou are imperfect, permanently and inevitably flawed. And you are beautiful.”

I recently learned that other women have similar imperfections to myself. I learned that other women have stretch marks.

I had always thought that women get stretch marks from pregnancy until last year when I gained a bit of weight. I began getting stretch marks on my legs and hips; and I was completely mortified. I’m not talking about a little bit of embarrassment, but completely humiliated. I was so ashamed that I wouldn’t even wear shorts anymore. I felt that my struggle with my food choices was finally visible, and that I was the only one with these marks of shame.

Recently, I watched a video about women and their stretch marks. How each woman received them and how that made each woman feel. I loved seeing this because it brought me to a point of community and understanding about my body, and it’s imperfections.

Thank you for a whole year of Go Giving!

All the scars, stretch marks, and other markings you have are so important. They tell a story about the life you have lived, who you have become, and who you used to be. Your scars add depth to your first impression and should be celebrated, not create embarrassment. I know this is all easier said than done, but if us ladies can each work towards loving our scars and talking about them, maybe other women and girls wouldn’t feel the shame we have felt.

Maybe we can all start loving the skin we are in.

Much love. Much grace.

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