Rejection I.

The fear of the first week during #NoFearNovember15 is one that I struggle with greatly.

Rejection.

This is a “fear” of mine that is based on insecurities in myself and how I think others view me, and I am ready to take that fear down. In fact, I struggle with this so much, that my intended post for this week is moved back to be a few days later all because I am somewhat scared of being rejected.

Maybe you have had that feeling. That tiny little gut feeling that you shouldn’t do or say something because people might think of you in a negative way. Maybe you are afraid of not coming across as sincere or having a weird sense of humor or just being misunderstood. If so, you definitely aren’t alone. Manypeople feel these things; especially in our American culture. I am one of the many people who have allowed the fear of rejection to climb into my life; and at times allowed it prevent me from doing things I want to do.

the dismissing or refusing of a proposal, idea, etc

In order to reduce my sensitivity to rejection, I am participating in a weekly challenge.

About 2 times each week I am subjecting myself to different forms of rejection. This can be anything from simply asking for a free refill on a Starbucks order to asking for money from a stranger.

This project was actually the brain-child of a man named Jia Jang. (You can view his finished project on his website.) He created the rejection project, but he did it everyday for 100 days.

As I complete various acts of placing myself ready to accept rejection, I will write a post to share with you. I may not share each one, due to time constraints and the Holidays approaching, but I will share what I can.

Wish me luck and bravery as I go through this month of having no fear!

Much love. Much grace.

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Needing Contentment

“I just want to see you content”

Seven words. Words that cut me to the core, and yet are loving at the same time. A phrase that says, “hey, I not only care about you, but I want to see you happy where you are and with what you have.”

But that word… Content… it is just so foreign.

I need more. More time. More money. More friends. More sucess. More adventures.

“Content” and “more” don’t go together. A person can’t live with both.

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I have been struggling with wanting to go to a new place to live for a while now. With marrying Mr. Yell and seeing most of our friends leave, it has been very hard to stay in our small town. I have been angry, jealous, and hurt; with myself for graduating late, and with God for not taking us to another place. He has been silent for almost a year now; and that has been the hardest thing to experience.

Then just this week my husband said something that woke me up. It made me rethink this past year’s emotions, complications, and stress.

“I just want to see you content.”

That’s it. That was the moment I realized that maybe, God wasn’t silent, at least not at first. Instead of listening to what He wanted me to do, I have been trying to push myself to do things that I feel I need to do. Things that will make me likable, smarter, or bring my life more meaning. I have been trying to make my life “better”, when instead I just  needed to learn how to be content.

Contentment is hard, guys. So hard. It is very hard to live in a world that is built on comparing ourselves to others and yet seek contentment. It is hard to see people in your same place in life who seem like they are doing it all, or that they are more likeable or needed or whatever. But can I just say that finding a way to be content is just so much better?

Even if you aren’t a believer in Christ, I challenge you just to take this week and find ways not to want more.  I want you to think about the things and people you have, and I want you to think everyday that you have enough. That you are fine where you are, and that the desire for more is not needed. For me, this is made infinitely easier when I remember that my relationship with God is all I need. I can lose everything and still know that He is good. He is enough.

This year has been rough, that is for sure. But this week has been the best week I have had in such a long time just on the basis of seeking contentment. I am learning, like I am sure much of you are, that I am pretty enough, strong enough, smart enough, loved enough, and happy enough.

I am doing my best to help those in need and make the part of the world I am in a brighter place to be. And that thought can only come from being content.

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Friends, are you content? If it means anything… I not only think you can be, but I want to see that happen for you.

Much love. Much grace.

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Giving Actively

 

I have always loved the expression of being a “Go Getter”. Go catch your dreams, grab the world by the tail, put it in your pocket, etc. etc. However, I am learning over and over how much this world needs more go GIVERS. We do need people to take action. To grab the world and make a difference… Sometimes that happens when we give back. Through this blog, I am hoping to give back some love, peace, and encouragement to this crazy world. If you have ideas, let me know!

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I am so excited for this new journey and adventure life is taking, and I can’t wait to take you along for the ride!

For now, I just want to leave with this thought and tagline for the blog.

YES. be a go getter… BUT, more importantly, be a GO GIVER.

Give fully. Give often.  Give actively.

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