How Interviewing for Jobs Helped Me Gain Confidence

It’s hard out there, guys. I mean I’ve read articles and studies and a bunch of other stuff about how hard it is to get a job out there in the “real world”, especially for Millennials just graduating from college. (I mean, a graduate needs a four-year degree and five years of experience for an entry level job now… Literally impossible.) It’s pretty brutal. It’s less brutal if you know what you want to do with your life and you have the ability to relocate, but still very tough to beat out people for a job and not just huddle in a corner and cry. #realLife

It’s been nine months since I graduated with my BS degree and for about four months I was actively looking for a job.Β I now have a job that I am really enjoying, but the job search took a bit of a toll on my self-esteem and confidence there for a bit. However, this experience has been enlightening and encouraging in many different ways.

Now, in November of last year I talked about some of the fears I hadΒ and that I was still working on overcoming them. This experience has helped speed along that process in a major way, really getting down to the grit of specific fears I have.

Fear of Judgement

I hate knowing that people are constantly making first impressions of others and the idea of taking tests to determine my knowledge or skill at something makes my stomach hurt. I hate being judged. I hate being put on a number scale to determine my worth, because to me I don’t believe it is an accurate depiction of who I am.

Imperfection

I want to be good at everything; and by that I mean that I want to do everything perfectly. If I am doing something I want every detail to be aligned and displayed in a creative and fun way, and if it isn’t I tend to beat myself up about it.

Not Being Enough

It was hard going into job interviews and not getting a job. Β I had flaws that the future employer could not overcome, so they choose someone else. Mostly those flaws were experience related, but it’s very hard not to take each rejection personally.

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After each rejection, I noticed that my fears began to shrink. After each rejection I would grieve for a moment but then I would try to prepare for the next interview. Then, I started to list out good qualities about my professional self and memorizing them for interviews. I even carried them around on a piece of paper at one point so I could add more when I thought of them. I also started asking others what good qualities they saw in me so that I could add them to the list to tell future employers. This strategy helped me not just get a job, but be confident in my new stage of adulting. The career stage.

So, if you are out there searching and trying and maybe crying a little during a job search, just know you have many qualities to offer. So many, that I bet you could make a long list of them. πŸ˜‰

Much love. Much grace.

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What Would A Rational Person Do?

Let’s be real. The past few months have been a struggle for me. I have had some anxiety issues that I have been dealing with. Often I have found myself asking the question: “What would a rational person do?” during times of irrational amounts of stress and anxiety.

Naturally, the book How To Live In FearΒ caught my attention because of these moments in my life. I started this book not just to look into anxiety for myself, but also to see how I can help others cope with everyday struggles or panic attacks. I always felt so helplessΒ not knowing how to help someone dealing with anxiety, and this book really addresses how to be more aware of anxiety symptoms and triggers.

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The first thing that struck my attention about this book Β was that the author himself lives with anxiety. He is a pastor, father, and husband… and has dealt with anxiety his entire life. Most books I have read have been from people who have studied anxiety, or are popular “Self-Help” speakers, but have never personally dealt with such panic. Just having the author be an advocate and personally experience anxiety made this book all the more interesting to me.

Overall, this book is great for those dealing with mild to severe anxiety or people who know someone who is dealing with these issues. While I learned many new techniques, was encouraged, and gained a new understanding when dealing with anxiety, I did feel that the book was a bit long in page length.

I loved the personal stories and practical knowledge given by the author and other outside sources. He shared stories from his childhood, early-adulthood, and even his recent life that really allow the reader to understand anxiety triggers and his fears in general.

I would recommend this book to those interested in gaining a personal insight about anxiety but do wish there was more psychological and Biblical evidence throughout the book.

 

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Have you read this book by Lance Hahn? What did you think?

Much love. Much grace.

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Rejection II.

β€œHi Friends!
Anyone interested in a Holiday Gift exchange? I don’t care where you live – you are welcome to join. I need 6 (or more) ladies of any age to participate in a secret sister gift exchange. You only have to buy ONE gift valued at $10 or more and send it to one secret sister and you will receive 6-36 in return!
Let me know if you are interested and I will send you the information! Please don’t ask to participate if you are not willing to spend the $10.”

When I first read this post on a friend’s Facebook wall, I got very excited. I wanted to participate because: A.) I love Christmas and B.) I love making new friends!

So for two things I love to be combined into one activity I had to do it. At first I was very excited to be a part of a secret sister gift exchange (I’ve always wanted to do one), and then I got the message from the person doing it.

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Turns out, that this β€œgift exchange” was a chain status. One person shares it, then they share it with 3 people, and then those three people share it with 3 people and on and on. While I was still excited to be a part of it, I felt a little less excited. I had thought that the gift exchange was going to be more organized and intentional, being between ladies who wanted to share intentional gifts instead of a chain status.*

After learning that I had to share the status on my wall to be a part of the gifting, I started to get nervous. I began thinking: β€œWhat if no one wants to participate with me?” β€œWhat if people think this is a dumb idea?” β€œI am sure all of my friends are already doing one from another friend on Facebook, why would they want to do mine?”

Then it hit me. This is another fear to tackle:

Rejection.

So to face this fear head on,Β  I decided to create my own gift exchange.

I posted a message, similar to the chain one, on my Facebook wall and sat waiting for the inevitable rejection of no one wanting to participate.

The response I received was wonderful. 5-6 lovely ladies in my life all wanted to participate, and even got excited when I mentioned that it was a bit different.They all wanted to be in a gift exchange and were excited at the chance to make new friends!

I was so excited to be a part of this little group; but also because I had put myself out there.

While this may not seem like a big feat of bravery or courage, for me it was. Just to put myself out there for the possibility of being rejected is a major stepping stone to overcoming some social insecurities I have experienced since I was a child.

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As No Fear November comes to an end, I am very pleased with how this month has gone. It was so difficult to face many of my fears and insecurities head-on; and I still have many more to tackle. However, once I made the decision to consciously face them, I began to grow bold in my decision, made new friendships, and found new things I enjoyed. I learned that I loved going to yoga classes and really want to dive more into my personal practice.Β  I had the opportunity to create a circle of new friends and encouragement through gift-giving by facing the possibility of rejection. I even gained more of a tolerance to possible rejections by doing little things throughout the days to get rejected on purpose.

I learned so much about how much I can handle; that I am much stronger than I choose to give myself credit for.

I hope to do this series again in the future!

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*Disclaimer: I like this idea! I am not dogging this at all.Β  I think it is great for sharing love and Christmas cheer! I am just personally just drawn to more intimate/intentional situations. I prefer intentional gift exchanges between a group of friends or potential friends instead of sharing the same status over and over to receive lots of gifts. I am fine with one. (Insert Introvert cliche)

Rejection I.

The fear of the first week during #NoFearNovember15 is one that I struggle with greatly.

Rejection.

This is a β€œfear” of mine that is based on insecurities in myself and how I think others view me, and I am ready to take that fear down. In fact, I struggle with this so much, that my intended post for this week is moved back to be a few days later all because I am somewhat scared of being rejected.

Maybe you have had that feeling. That tiny little gut feeling that you shouldn’t do or say something because people might think of you in a negative way. Maybe you are afraid of not coming across as sincere or having a weird sense of humor or just being misunderstood. If so, you definitely aren’t alone. Manypeople feel these things; especially in our American culture. I am one of the many peopleΒ who have allowed the fear of rejection to climb into my life; and at times allowed it prevent me from doing things I want to do.

the dismissing or refusing of a proposal, idea, etc

In order to reduce my sensitivity to rejection, I am participating in a weekly challenge.

About 2 times each week I am subjecting myself to different forms of rejection. This can be anything from simply asking for a free refill on a Starbucks order to asking for money from a stranger.

This project was actually the brain-child of a man named Jia Jang. (You can view his finished project on his website.) He created the rejection project, but he did it everyday for 100 days.

As I complete various acts of placing myself ready to accept rejection, I will write a post to share with you. I may not share each one, due to time constraints and the Holidays approaching, but I will share what I can.

Wish me luck and bravery as I go through this month of having no fear!

Much love. Much grace.

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No Fear November

Fear is such a tricky and subtle thing. It can creep up in unexpected ways, like being scared of whales. Or it can develop over time coming from insecurities or traumas.

This past month I was asked to write as a guest blogger for a regional blog about marriage in my area. While I was so excited at first, I slowly began to become nervous and somewhat stressed. I began to become so stressed that I developed writer’s block.

I mean, how could I write about marriage when I have only been married for five months? I know nothing of trials and strugglesΒ that marriage can bring. People keep saying I am still in the “Honeymoon Stage”.

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As I began thinking of what to write about the more desperate I became. I would try writing whatever I could just to try to find an idea that stuck. I started and stopped about eight different times just trying to write one post.

As I said before in a previous post, writing was never my strong suit in school, and I began to remember the comments and even my grades as I would try to write this guest post. I was struggling.

Insecurities have a way of tearing us down.

Not quickly like outside or hurtful comments do. No, insecurities come from the inside. They come at us from our core and who we think we should be.

“I should be more graceful by now” “Why can’t I just stop eating Oreos?! That’s probably why I am so chubby” and on and on.

These little thoughts of negativity eventually bring us to a place of inhibited living or avoidance of certain activities, just like true fears do.

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This month is November, and in honor of Halloween being over, I am dedicating this month to overcoming my fears and insecurities. I will continue to write what is on my heart and I will begin conquering theΒ insecurities that make me doubt myself.

Who’s with me? Let’s overcome our fears together this No Fear November. If you want to do this challenge with me, be sure to fill out the contact section on the blog and let me know!

Let’s see just who we can be without fears and insecurities weighing us down.

Much love. Much grace.

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